This site is a log of my interaction with my fiancé "April" who has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.

My name is Chuck, well that's not my real name. All the names on this site are fictitious, to protect both the innocent and the guilty. There are no dates the events occurred either. A lot of people I know know a small segment of the story, I do not want to be found, nor do I want anyone to figure out who April is.

You may read through this and wonder "What's wrong with this guy?" or "How can he be so mean?", or "He's only listing the bad things, she can't be all bad". I assure you, this is 100% truthful. I expect that I've forgotten more than I remember. If you live with someone who has BPD, there's lots of bad. Some good, but lots of bad. Anytime people are living in close quarters, there will be disagreements. All couples fight from time to time. If love is mostly clear skies and smooth sailing, a disagreement is rough water and a fight is a thunderstorm or torrential downpour. When you live with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, it's hurricane and monsoon season all year long and you never can tell when one is coming, you just pray that it will be over soon.

Perhaps you think I'm a jerk. Perhaps you think I deserve what I've gotten. That's your prerogative.
I don't claim to be perfect. This is my diary, my therapy, my chance to pour out my soul and feelings to confess my guilt and reveal my inner most thoughts. I invite you to open the diary and read.

Beware, there may be a confession to petty crimes and criminal thinking. I'm adding these after the statute of limitations expire because while I'm unlikely to be prosecuted, I've lived under "the warden", as I call her, long enough already.

I'm hoping that perhaps this may help someone else in a similar situation.
This site lists events in the order they happened. If you notice the post time are not in order, I am listing many years worth of events from memory, I may not have added them in the order they happened, but I am trying to make sure you read them in the order they happen. Some things are too hard for me to write down in a group, so I sporadically add the most painful parts, living them once was one too many. Therefore I add a few and stop, add a few and stop.