This is one of the hardest entries to write. It's been many, many months since it happened and I'm not over it.

There must have been some other part of the conversation that was lost. I do not know what went on I guess she threatened to call Kristin.

(4:31:10 PM) are you there
(4:35:51 PM) see
(4:35:57 PM) doing you
(4:36:17 PM) you were telling her what to say if i would call her
(4:36:28 PM) no, I wasn't.
(4:36:51 PM) also back when Dick and I were doing htings and you claim you were jacking off were you really doing her?
(4:37:20 PM) I swear I was not doing Kristin.
(4:37:26 PM) that way you lasted longer
(4:37:46 PM) go get a blessed bible so I can swear on it, since a regular bible is just a stack of paper.
(4:37:47 PM) well then can i ask her questions without you getting pissed off
(4:38:13 PM) if your not quilty the you shouldn't care
(4:38:28 PM) Dear God, please do not ask her "is Chuck good in the sack" or anything that will get me fired.
(4:38:38 PM) why not?
(4:38:39 PM) or humiliate me, please don't.
(4:38:59 PM) why?
(4:39:15 PM) if you have nothing to hide then you sahouldn't care
(4:39:18 PM) why shouldn't you humiliate me?
(4:39:30 PM) why shouldn't you try to get me fired?
(4:39:39 PM) do those questions really need answers?
(4:39:44 PM) yes
(4:40:34 PM) you have something to hide then is what you are telling me
(4:40:53 PM) no i do not want to humilate you
(4:41:03 PM) you really need an answer as to why you shouldn't humiliate your significant other in front of his co-workers and why you shouldn't get him fired?
(4:41:16 PM) no I have nothing to hide and that should be the end of it.
(4:41:17 PM) i wouldn't get you fired
(4:41:40 PM) well you not taking me in there has a big problem on this end
(4:42:10 PM) I'm not talking to you because I'm trying to write an email that I need to send before 5:00
(4:42:17 PM) I'm almost done.
(4:42:33 PM) im gonna call her
(4:42:41 PM) while your doing that
(4:42:54 PM) fine, call her if you must, but please do not get me fired.
(4:43:13 PM) im calling her
(4:43:19 PM) that's nice.

 The conversation I heard is below, what I assume she asked is in parenthesis:
Kristin: "This is Business Name Here, Kristin Speaking. How can I help you?"
April: (Hi, Kristin?)
Kristin: "Yes".
April: (Are you doing Chuck?)
Kristin: "Oh dear God no! I have a boyfriend".
April: (how long have you been together?)
Kristin: "We've lived together a year and a half."
April: (are you sure you didn't fuck him?)
Kristin: "No, he's not my type. Bye."

(4:46:19 PM) she said she has a boyfriend for a year
(4:46:32 PM) but it seems like i may have someone else to worry about
(4:46:38 PM) huh?
(4:46:41 PM) she lives with him
(4:46:46 PM) so?
(4:46:53 PM) so what
(4:47:06 PM) why would you worry if she lives with her boyfriend?
(4:47:22 PM) i didn't she told me that I did not ask that
(4:47:25 PM) she said that
(4:47:32 PM) so why would that make you worry?
(4:47:40 PM) doesn't
(4:47:50 PM) she told me there may be someone else

That's funny, cause I sit about 20 feet from her, and she said no such thing.

(4:47:55 PM) but it seems like i may have someone else to worry about
(4:47:59 PM) who's someone else?
(4:48:09 PM) i have no idea ask her what she meant
(4:48:21 PM) that you may like or likes you
(4:48:30 PM) not that I'm aware of.
(4:48:42 PM) well that is what she said

 No Kristin didn't.

(4:48:49 PM) you're probably reading too much into something she said.
(4:49:10 PM) don't know
(4:49:31 PM) i told her about our past a little thats why I do not trust you
(4:49:39 PM) so then she understood I think
(4:49:56 PM) why would you tell her about our past, what past?
(4:50:30 PM) i did not go into details i justt said we had our problems in the past you know with kristie

Kristie was my old roommate. 

(4:50:41 PM) but i did not tell her about kristie
(4:51:00 PM) I thought you resolved that.
(4:51:48 PM) I told her that yes I was upset and this has been bothering me, and at the party she wasn't really hanging out with her boyfriend and I thought that was odd
(4:52:16 PM) I don't know, I wasn't watching her.
(4:52:22 PM) sorry but I had to do it, I know yu will be mad
(4:52:57 PM) no not mad, [I'm] embarrassed, humiliated, some other emotion that I don't have a name for.
(4:53:00 PM) so what are you talking toher about this
(4:53:16 PM) no, I'm hoping she forgets about it over the weekend.
(4:53:26 PM) sorry I needed it, for my own sanity
(4:53:34 PM) why can't you just believe me?
(4:53:44 PM) you give me so many reasons
(4:54:00 PM) oh well, I'm going to take the time cards up to payroll, I've got to fix one because Dave is off till Weds.
(4:54:09 PM) and I still didn't get this email sent.
(4:54:28 PM) why not you said your almost done
(4:54:39 PM) yes, I need to proof read it.
(4:54:51 PM) it's going to two editors and Bill, it has to be 100% right.
(4:55:04 PM) so what are you rtelling me
(4:55:21 PM) I'm proof reading an email and going to payroll.
(4:55:29 PM) to turn in time cards like I do every week.
(4:56:06 PM) maybe if you where ore romantic iwouldn't have to worry
(4:56:22 PM) how much more romantic do you want me to be?
(4:56:27 PM) alot more
(4:56:42 PM) why can't you just love me for me?
(4:56:43 PM) you know make reservations sometime take me somewhere
(4:57:06 PM) you were better in the beginning
(4:57:09 PM) well unless I find a way to make more money that's not going to be any time soon, sorry.
(4:57:22 PM) and I like our house better, I know where the germs came from.
(4:57:23 PM) yeah to many lawyers bills
(4:57:44 PM) talk to you when you get home
(4:57:49 PM) ok.
(4:57:50 PM) love you.

I have no idea why I'd say this. I should say "Fuck you very much, get out of my life" but I didn't. 

(4:57:58 PM) love you maybe
(4:58:03 PM) that's mean.
(4:58:21 PM) well how i've been feeling has been mean
(4:58:37 PM) oh well love you
(4:58:38 PM) well I can't buy you a punching bag thsi week.
(4:58:40 PM) love you.
(4:58:53 PM) don't need one i will use you
(4:59:01 PM) that's really mean.
(4:59:09 PM) well thats how i feel
(4:59:17 PM) no i just won't eat
(4:59:20 PM) all good
(4:59:29 PM) that's rediculous.
(4:59:29 PM) see ya
(4:59:34 PM) :)
(4:59:44 PM) love you, bye

 On my way home, I got a call from another co-worker, who was quite blunt about the situation. Kristin didn't know what to do, so she called this other co-worker. I can't blame her. This is not supposed to work out like this.

I got called into a conference room with Bill (my acting boss), Kristin and myself. Kristin is very concerned about Friday and I don't blame her one bit. Unfortunately, Kristin didn't forget about it over the weekend.

Kristin wants to file a restraining order against April, which seems like a good idea. I give her all the information and agree to resolve the situation. Actually, I tell them that I've got the Friday afternoon off and I plan to pack my shit and get the fuck out of Dodge.

Aaron sold about a dozen trading cards to a kid down the street for $5. He's four years younger than Aaron, but a big fan of the team and I'd consider it to be a fair deal between children. (Not a fair deal if adults were involved.) They're probably not worth $5 but I don't think it was a complete rip-off either since neither know the value of the carrds. And something is only "worth" what someone else is willing to pay for it, right?

Well this kid's dad found out and blew a gasket. He completely went off. We know that this guy is at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to husband/father type stuff. We've never had any proof, but we think he beats his wife and kid.

So he charges down to our house, bangs on the door. He goes off on April, demands the five dollars back and tells her that "your husband" meaning me, needs to smack her around a little. She didn't like than I can't blame her one bit. She called the cops. She's 5'2" 125 soaking wet, he's 5'6" maybe 160. While he poses almost no threat to me unarmed, to her I can see why she'd be scared. Especially since she now knows he advocates beating your spouse. The police show up, he's still foaming at the mouth.

The cop is befuddled as to what the big deal is, it's $5 and baseball cards. He gives them a warning that they must stay off the property or they will be cited for tresspassing.

By the time I get home, everybody's gone and it's calm.

Madison, 7 is no longer riding her school bus as we fear the jackass up the street may start something since both the boy and Madison get on the bus at the same stop. If he beats his wife and first grader I wouldn't be surprised what he'd do to someone else's first grader.

Aaron is supposed to be picked up by April in the afternoon, but is allowed to catch his own bus before school since they ride differerent busses at much different times. The beater would be at work before Aaron's bus gets him in the morning, but not in the afternoon.

Today she goes to the therapist. She expects the therapist to tell me that I'm all wrong, that having friends of the opposite sex is the same as cheating, that April's more important than any job or promotion. That I need to kiss her ass every chance I get.

I have to go along on the off chance the therapist wants to talk to me in person. 

That didn't go so well.

For me, it was boring as all get out, I sat in a waiting room for an hour and a half, couldn't leave, couldn't go out to smoke.

And from what I gather, I had the good end of the stick.

April hates her therapist. Her therapist wants to concentrate on her lack of eating more than her insane jealousy, needyness or strong desire to ruin what's left of my life.

I figure one thing at a time, while it's not what I'd have chosen to focus on,  it's a start, and maybe if she starts eating right, she'll feel better mentally.

In the mean time, she's supposed to keep photos of the kids in her car, in case she gets self injurious thoughts again.

She's also supposed to chat with me from 12:00 until 1:00 (because that's when Kristin goes to lunch, supposedly). That way she will know I'm not out screwing Kristin over lunch. I agree to chat with her. I do most of the time any way. 

It's early on a Wednesday. I get a call from her, she's all distraught and I can't calm her down. She tells me that she's taken a bunch of pills.

I try to convince her to call an ambulance, but she won't. I go to my acting boss, Bill and tell him what's going on, thanks to her BS a few weeks ago, Bill is aware that she's not very stable. Bill advises me to call an ambulance for her anyway.

She calls while I'm in his office. I talk to her, she agrees over the phone that she'll force herself to throw up the pills if I come home. Bill lets me leave for the day.

I send the people who work under me an email that I've got a problem at home and will be out until tomorrow. Fortunately, there have been several leaks and other problems in my home over the years, so they don't question it.

When I get home, she's sleeping. She did not force herself to throw up like we agreed. Since it's over an hour later, I just let her sleep it off.

April's back to therapy. She hates her therapist and wants to change.

Since chatting w/ me from 12:00 to 1:00 didn't alter her perception that I'm screwing Kristin and only made problems worse, she's not supposed to chat with me at all while I'm at work. That's fine with me, since I'm supposed to be working and don't want to get caught wasting company time, especially since I'm up for this promotion.

She calls a therapist she went to before and thinks he's great. Problem is she can't get in until a full month from now.

Then we got on the subject of hotels, she wants to spend one weekend away before committing herself on Monday.

Clearly, if I go for a cigarette, I'll get in trouble again.

Me with April's hands wrapped around my throat. But I'll get to that part.

I woke up, watched some TV for a bit, crawled back in bed, woke her up, we had good sex as we almost always do. Afterwards, I took a shower, then I made pancakes. Lately I've been making about 20 or so pancakes and freezing them so the kids and I can throw them in the microwave in the morning for a good quick breakfast.

As I'm cleaning up, she starts in on me. How I'd rather have Kristin. I told her I don't want Kristin. She says "You can never say anything bad about her." I tell her there's no reason to do that, she has nothing to worry about.
She walks over, puts her hands around my neck and says "say something bad about her". I refuse. She squeezes. I can feel the pressure, but I'm not worried she'll hurt me,  she wants to, but she's not strong enough.

I hope.

April says "she's wrong! say it!". I say in a dwarf under a tow truck's wheel's voice "No, you're wrong!". I'm now thinking that this has gone way too far, I'll hit her with a frying pan. Then I think, if I do that, the cops will get involved, who are they going to believe? A 180 lb man with out a scratch on him, or a 125lb woman who just got whacked with a frying pan?

I break free, I grab the keys on the hook in the kitchen, head for the door. I'm planning to leave my wallet, normal set of keys, motorcycle, everything sentimental behind. I can not do this any longer. She tackles me. Not really tackles, more like a forced piggy back ride. I keep walking. She pulls me to the ground. I once again pull free, almost. She's got a death grip on my leg. I walk as well as possible towards the door. "You can't leave! You can't leave!". Well fuck honey, you wanted me dead a few minutes ago, what do you care if I leave?
She begs and pleads with me. She starts crying.

That stupid ass compassion comes over me, how is this crazy woman supposed to survive with three kids without me?

I'm the worlds biggest dumbass as I take her in my arms and comfort her.