I'm afraid April's demons are gaining ground again. I'd post each individual occurance, but I don't see the point in making 20 posts that are each a sentence or two long.
Things such as: Three days ago she told me that the only reason I would want to have MP3s on my phone is so I could have some music to fuck someone else by.
She told me that she hates Kristin, she just won't let that die.
A week and a half ago, she called me when I was on my way home from work. I happened to be getting gas at the time, so I didn't answer the phone. She left the following message on my voicemail. "Why do you even have a freaking cell phone. You never answer it for me. For fucking everybody else you answer the phone, but not me." So I called her back, A.S.A.P, even though I'm only a mile from home. She asked me if I was out fucking Kristin. I told her "yes I was". The I pulled in the driveway, she hung up on me. When I walked in the house, she gave me the silent treatment. Later, I found out that she wanted me to pick up Aaron on my way home. Since I didn't answer right that second, she had to go get him herself. You're right if you think this doesn't add up, how long does it take to get gas? Five minutes? In five minutes, she left a nasty phone message, picked up Aaron and it was such a big deal cause I didn't answer the phone.
Last Thursday, she told me that she'd like me to send her a txt message every now and then just so she knows I'm thinking about her. The following morning I do.
She didn't check her cell phone and tried to IM me, I happened to be out smoking.
So this is the IM conversation she had with my client:

(13:09:41) April: I was just thinking about you and thought I would say HI since you do not have the time to send me a HI
(13:09:41) <AUTO-REPLY>: I'm here, give me a moment to im you back.
(13:10:21) I hope you enjoying all you cigs breaks and market.
(13:11:50) Well see you tonight,sorry for saying hello.while I am having a hard time with this
(13:12:15) I love you and will be crying since you did not respond to me

Then she called me.
She left a voice mail on my phone that's unintelligable, she's just crying and sobbing about how I don't love her and the rest is sobbing.
I saw the IM, so I tried to get back to her.

(13:17:16) Me: still there?

She ignored me
I sent her more text messages, she ignored them too.
She's been complaining about her body image frequently. I encouraged her to go back to the therapist, but she refuses. She will however avoid eating as much as possible, she doesn't want to get fat. This is ironic, because despite my protests, she continues to buy candy that only I will eat.
She got her son's Vicodin prescription filled and took them "just because".
Despite a recorded frequency of sex of 2 times per three days (yes, she's been keeping records of how often we have sex), she seems to be dissatisfied with how often we have sex. I wouldn't complain, but the simple fact of the matter is I'm getting less than six hours of sleep during the work week in order to do this. By Friday, I feel like shit in order to keep up. Asking to go to bed earlier is met with groans and complaints.
I forget how often, but at least every other time, the day after a night we don't have sex, she insists my breath, fingers, clothes or Dick smells like pussy.
I'm working out again, but it must be when she wants to work out with me, otherwise, she gets upset about it.
She's been reading my mail again, scrutinizing my checking account for every minor detail.
One purchase that didn't "add up" was a $125 withdrawl from target on my debit card. I am nearly positive that was a trip I took to target with her to buy wedding gift and other household stuff. She seems to think that I must have spent the $125 on jewelry for my mistress. I replied "yes, I have a mistress, in reality, I make $150,000/year and I'm always broke cause I can barely afford both of you."
She's also reviewing all my phone calls and text messages. Now I delete calls I make that she'd consider indiscretions, such as having a co-workers cell number on my call log, even though I'm at work and there's a perfectly good reason to call them, just to avoid confrontation about it.
Monday, she smelled my clothes and insisted it smelled like perfume. She claims I put my clothes in the backpack I normally carry, I'm sure she did. And it smells like perfume. I'm almost positive it smells like bangers and mash, which is what I happened to have for lunch on Friday.
Yesterday, she called me on the way home from work. There's construction, but she insisted it was "smooth sailing", even though she hasn't driven through it ever. She was really upset and "dinner was ruined" because I was ONLY going to be home TEN MINUTES EARLY, instead of a half hour like she thought. Dinner by the way, was fish sticks and french fries. Any other time, she has no problem at all when I'm home on time, and dinner is cold because she doesn't want to wait for me to get home to eat dinner.
She's reverted to the "entertaining" stage somewhat. What I mean is she'll IM me at work. Now she knows that I'm supposed to be working, not chatting, so I work in between the conversation downtime. She'll tell me "you don't have much to say" and "you're in a mood" and "you seem a little blitz" or "weird acting... acting and saying things differently"

We're driving to check out a motorcycle we might buy. She bluntly asks me "How many times in our relationship did you lie to me?" Well, I'm not going to get this conversation going, I lie to her often, daily, maybe more. In addition to that, she considers lying, not telling her things. Not telling her things like "I talked to a girl today", it doesn't matter that it was because she called my work and needed to speak to me. All that matters is that she's female. I'm not supposed to talk to women, like the opposite of the Taliban or something.
So I dodge the question by clarifying the question, "do you mean like lying, saying that I didn't go shopping for you the day before your birthday?" Because technically, that's a lie. She says no, lying like "I wasn't at so-and-so's house". I say "no. How many times have you lied to me?". I figure it's only fair to ask. She says "well, um". Yeah. I know. I know she's lied to me more times than one could count. And I'm not saying that I'm right, I'm just saying that this conversation disturbs me to the core. She's gone behind my back, lied to my face, screwed around on me (which lately she insists I encouraged again.) I do not like this game. I really want out, I just don't know how to do it. 

She's smelling me. I mean like actively sniffing my shoulder like a dog, except it's my shoulder and not my butt. Not that the simple fact it's not my butt makes it feel any better. I'm afraid this is going to turn into the "you smell like imaginary perfume" conversation again. I ask her what she's doing. She replies "I like the smell of the new laundry detergent." Well, that's a lot of liking the smell of new laundry detergent. Especially since the shirt I'm wearing is one I wear to work out and get sweatty in. To make things more strange, I haven't worn this particular shirt for at least two weeks, probably a month. That's a long time for laundry detergent smell to stay in clothes. Did I mention, this is a muscle-shirt? The kind with little itty bitty inch or so wide straps of fabric on the shoulders? She's smelling my shoulder. 
Well, she stopped. She didn't start a fight with me, she let me run for 20 minutes, got a whole two miles in. Not bad, but definitely not good either.

Malcolm found a car on CraigsList, it's a steal. April and I go to check it out, she's incredibly reluctant. I find this really funny, when it's my $20,000, she's all gung-ho. When it's her $1000, she scrutinizes every detail. I figure, it's a $1000 car that's probably worth $2500 once repaired for about $400 that more than likely Malcolm will destroy.
He's a kid, he's just learning how to drive, he's a little immature. He's going to back it into posts or side-swipe a mail box and when all is said and done, the car will be worthless. But it's a car. When you're 16, 1 engine plus four tires plus one key = infinite possibilities.
We agree to take it. The plan is Malcolm will pay April $50/week for 21 weeks (to cover the purchase price of the car, including taxes, less $100 as a birthday present.) Malcolm will have to save another $15/week to pay to replace the windsheild that is cracked by the time inspection is due. I think this is an important lesson as well.
Dispite being very nervous about it, April pays half, we sign over the title. The current (or is it now previous) owner is keeping the car over night to clean out his stuff and get us the muffler which was cut off.

April's made an appointment to fix the windshield already, I'm surprised, ah well.
I left work as early as I could, 45 minutes early, to pick up April so we can get the car. I'm on my way home. April calls me. "Why is it that when it's something for you, you always get off early. When it's something for me, it's like 'whenever'.". I find this really, really irritating.I wanted to wait till the following day and have a co-worker help me out by driving it halfway to our house and then instead of two hours, we'd only have used 45 minutes to get it. Arrgh!.
On the way to pick up the car, I call the guy to make sure everything is set, remind him to put the muffler with the car, so it's there when we get there.. April is still very nervous. But she gives the kid the remaining $500, he gives us the keys and the muffler, which can't be clamped back on like I thought. We take it home, stop for gas. It only takes four gallons and change, despite the gauge reading empty. Upon getting back in the car, April notices that the gauge only says 1/2 full. She's all freaked out cause the gas gauge is broke. I remind her we paid a grand for the car, there will be some problems, so what. And it's always possible that the gas pump was the problem, not the gauge.
Later she says "all in all, it seems pretty good." I hope so. I think it will be.

I'm in the shower. April says "you know how I snoop in your phone?" I say, "yes, you said you were going to stop that." She says "well, I want to know, who did you call at number 555-2789?". I say "I'll give you one guess." She says "I don't know." I say, "guess. If you're wrong, I'll kick your butt." She says "I don't know, who." I say "it's big, it's blue, it cost you a thousand dollars and it's sitting in our driveway." She says "Oh, the car!". I say "yes, you need to stop snooping now!".
It's almost time for bed. I really felt like walking out right then and there. I do not want to do this stupid shit any more. I do not want to be questioned all the time as to what I'm doing when, why I did what I did. Why I called whomever. It's not fair, it's not fun.
But despite the fact that I'm upset with her, I fuck her anyway. I think it's the sleep deprivation that enables me to sleep at night, and little else.

I've found the blog of someone who says he is BPD. I'm not going to comment specifically as to what I think, however, I am providing this so you may be able to read it.

update: this blog has disappeared, however, you can still access it via The Way Back Machine

http://classic-web.archive.org/web/*/borderlinepersonalityblog.blogspot.com/*

if you can provide more content from this blog, please contact me.

I found a dirt bike for Aaron. It's old, but it's about the right size and the price is good. I IM her, she won't get it till she gets home. Then she chats with me for the better part of three hours. There was another bike I was looking at, but it's a project, not a running bike, I'd really like to get it. She tells me she wants to give it to me, to show me how much she loves me. I'd much rather pay for it myself. I know it's gooing to bother both of us when our relationship comes to a screaming halt. On the other hand, it's more of an adult sized bike, it would be good for her to learn on, she's expressed interest in that lately. Aaron could eventually grow into it. I don't know what to do. I don't have the money. It's only $250, I can come up with that next week, but the bike is here today. I'm going to have to think about this one.

I'm working on cleaning the lizard's aquarium. It's no big deal, it's just something that needs to be every month or so. The one car is in the garage, since I leave first and get home last, my car is out in the street, April offers to put it in the driveway. I give her my keys. She comes back about five minutes later, she says "We need to talk." I say "What now?" She found a receipt in my car from a convenience store, dated yesterday at 6:21 a.m. She wants to know why I didn't get home until almost eight. This really pushes me over the edge. She can't even do something nice and simple without snooping. Wait, no, she didn't do it to be nice, she did it so she could snoop. If I didn't have to finish putting the lizard aquarium back together, I'd leave. Right then and there. Damn it, why does she pick times like this to do these things? She wants and explaination. I don't have one. Later, I realize that all the clocks are screwed up, cause they changed the day when Daylight Savings Time begins and ends. But that's not the point. The point is, I can not trust her to do anything without snooping. My patience has been worn out.

April told her employer she's quitting her job. She has no new job lined up.