The same thing again. This time it's her neice who I'll admit is smokin' hot. But she's also got a personality that's not my type. She's extremely head strong, not bull-headed and off-kilter like April. But she's someone who I think would be cool to hang out with, but dating just wouldn't work. This is the only person whom April's gotten on my case who I think she might actually, be threatened by if April were normal. And that's not the point. The point is that I'm just being a normal person, I talk to whomever is there about what ever because this vacation is not my thing. I'm bored most of the time. I'm here because she wants to be here with the kids who want to be here. I'd rather be at home working on my long to-do list. Now I can't talk to April's thin sister or April's thin neice. So that leaves the sister dating the drunk her daughter who's fat and has had mental problems, she's also fat and the drunk and April's brother and his wife. Also, there's April's three kids who I can talk to at home and their two cousins. Really nice kids, but at nine and 12, just not much in common. I have got to find some way to deal with this and leaving seems like the most logical option, even if it's really difficult, because I'd have to make someone drive six hours to get me.

After months of asking April to actively persue a new job, I get a phone call. She had been saying that after vacation she would get serious and she'd even try to get a gig at the place I work part time. At least a few hours a day is better than nothing, right? Well, she calls me all excited. She went there and applied and someone mentioned she looked very fit. He asked if she was looking for full time work, which April responded she was. That someone was impressed enough to get her an in person interview the following day. I told her I think that's great.

April got the job. Since she'll be full time she's being fitted for uniforms and as long as her background check comes through clean, she's in. She's concerned about the hours and such, but the pay is decent, less than what the part timers make per hour, but at full-time hours, the paycheck will be pretty decent. She says that she thinks it will be good for her, that she'll have less time to sit around and think. When she thinks, it usually ends up "I wonder who Chuck is screwing right now?" So less thinking would be very good. 

I've actually been going to class for three days over the last four months. She happened to IM me while I was taking lunch from class at my desk, because I'm an idiot. It's time for me to go back to class and I tell her I have a meeting. She doesn't beleive me of course.

(12:21:53) April: hi honey
(12:21:58) Me: hi honey
(12:22:12) Her: so how is it going?
(12:22:39) me: right now I'm trying to wolf down lunch, I have a meeting in eight minutes
(12:22:55) what are you having for lunch?
(12:22:58) which I forgot lunch too
(12:23:04) crab cake and pasta salad.
(12:23:14) from market I take
(12:23:16) yes
(12:23:21) where is your meeting?
(12:23:26) upstairs
(12:23:38) how long will that take?
(12:23:54) I hope an hour, I expect it to last until next weds.
(12:24:37) why are you having a meeting on friday I thought those where on tuesdays?
(12:24:50) not our weekly waste of time meeting.
(12:25:43) ok well have fun at your so called meeting,see you when you get home
(12:26:11) what do you mean my so called meeting?
(12:26:36) just not sure if that is true or not
(12:26:53) why not?
(12:27:26) just seems wired to have a meeting at 1230 over peoples lunch hours
(12:28:05) no, I asked for it to be 12:30, so I'd get home sooner.
(12:28:12) like I said, I expect this to take forever.
(12:28:23) what does that have to do with getting off early?
(12:28:48) yeah so thats why I think its not real that you are just saying itys a meeting
(12:29:19) can't argue now, gotta go.
(12:29:20) love you
(12:29:23) bye

While I'm at class, I get a TXT.

u done with ur meeting

I reply no.

u with my sister?

WTF! why can't she leave me the hell alone. I tell her no. Once again, I have no interest in going home to deal with this shit.
When I get home, about half an hour late, because the class I was in didn't finish until about half an hour after I normally do, the whole time driving as fast as my bike will let me and traffic is no help with construction and an accident. Fortunately there was another accident I didn't run into so that bought me a little time. She's on the phone with... her sister. I walk in the door and give her a kiss. She says "oh, he gave me a kiss, he must not be mad". Well, I am mad, but I don't feel like dealing with the problem. She not only called her sister, she also called her sister's husband to verify her sister's whereabouts. This is not good.

She started her new job today. Oh thank God. I now only have to worry about her bugging me at work for about an hour and a half per day. At least for now, while she's in training. I have no idea what's going to happen if she gets a shift that allows her to bug me at work, but right now, it's so nice not having to worry about that.

I come home, slightly earlier than normal. I walk in, kiss her, tell her dinner smells really good. Then I remember than my phone was ringing on my way home and it might be my mechanic saying the tire I ordered last week is done. I check my phone. It's my mom. She left a voice mail, but I didn't check it. April says "who's number did you delete?" I tell her none, it was my mom. Then I try to eat dinner and forget how this shit agrivates me. Later, I walked out of the house and came back in. She says something that reminds me about her intrusion. I ask, did you check my phone and see that it really was my mom? She gets offended. She says she hasn't done that in a long time, but if I remember correctly, a long time is about a week. She hides it by claiming she was trying to go online with my phone, but somehow she always manages to end up in my call history, or text message history. I find that really funny, cause the button to go on line is no where near the button to do those other things. Anyway, she's mad. She looks like she's getting madder. So I tickle her. Well, this ends up making her bump her thumb that she injured a few weeks ago and I quickly ask her to show me her thumbs so I can see if there's still noticable swelling. Fortunately, this makes her forget about the "checking the phone" thing that pissed her off.

The same day, she decides she's going to make my lunch. She puts an apple, an orange, a protein bar, a pack of those cookies, the kind where there's six cookies in a package and I expect a sandwhich too. The day before, she packed two fruits and a sandwhich. I'm trying to eat more reasonable and lean out and I ask "do I have to eat everything? You don't need to put all the food in my lunch everyday". Well this really offends her, she puts the fruit back in the fridge, the protein bar back in the basket we keep on the table, the cookies back in the cupboard. She says "fine, you make your lunch! I try to be nice and you just get on me." Then she goes out on the back porch.
I follow her and try to explain that this is alot of food to eat with a sandwhich just for lunch. She says that if it's too much food, I could just put the stuff I didn't eat in my drawer for a day when I forgot my lunch instead of buying it. This is a good point. I tell her that we should talk so we can each see the other's point of view. I say that my lunches have been a little too much lately, that one piece of fruit and a protein bar and a sandwhich is enough. She says I wasn't going to make me sandwhich. We discuss this and she's still upset, she doesn't understand my point of view. I tell her, well we talked and now at least I understand her point of view.
My point that it's too much food is valid, I think. Her point that I can save some for later is valid too. I don't think it was worth getting in a huff over. And once again, I start asking myself if I'm trying to agitate her subconsciouly or am I still striving for a normal relationship and will end up back walking on eggshells again?
I know eventually we'll end up in another big blowout, she'll accuse me of convincing her to get a job just so I can leave her. I probably will leave her, I only stay because I fear her. At least I fear her outbursts. Now I also have something else to fear, she's working full time where I work part time, what's going to happen if we break up? Is she going to quit? Will she try to ruin me before she quits? Will we be able to deal with each other for the 30 seconds or so we might see each other on a daily basis? Why did I encourage her to go there to get a job? Well, the good news is other people who work there seem very pleased and impressed with the rate she's learning her job and that she's been doing all the right things, showing up on time, working hard, that kind of stuff. So that's good news, even if shadows of doubt are lingering to me. 

I've been getting shit all week because I'm late coming home. Two days ago, I was talking to the mechanic about HER car. Yesterday I had to stop on the way home to buy something that she knew about in advance. Today? just traffic. Well, tomorrow, Malcolm has his driver's exam. April's been trying to secure her mother's car, an automatic for his driver's test, this in spite of the fact that Malcolm has never driven this car, but it's an automatic, which April is convinced any and all of Malcolm's driving issues are related to driving a standard transmission. We don't own an automatic, but I think she'd make him nervous regardless of what he was driving. He remembers some of her outbursts, including one where she made him get out of the car and switch seats with her at a stop sign.
Her mom has to go to work and can't take Malcolm for his driver's exam, nor loan him the car. I tell her I'll take him. She says "now I love you again". Which is thoroughly confusing, because she's been treating me poorly all week long. What-ever. 

I take Malcolm for his test. It takes 45 minutes from the time his appointment is scheduled until the examiner starts the exam. He failed. Ah well, this is life. He agreed the day before to go on a small trip with me to get a motorcycle part about three hours away, we go, traffic is awful. But it takes about three hours. On the way home, April is calling repeatedly while we sit in traffic. She tells me all about how we won't be home for three hours, I tell her that it will be an hour, give or take. I can tell that this is her jealousy showing through, she's jealous that I'm spending time that she'd be sleeping to get this part. That I'm spending money on something other than her, dispite the fact that overall, my motorcycle saves more money than it costs. Not to mention her ex has shown up at the house and she's taking the frustration of him arriving uninvited on me. Finally, I get home, about 15 minutes later than I expected and really about an hour later than I wanted to. The whole thing that irritates me the most is on any other day, I'd only have been home from work for half an hour at this point. Well, the ex leaves. She tells me that out of the last eight days, we only made love twice. Well, with her starting a new job and towards the end of the week, the last three days, she's been ignoring me. Sometimes she acts like I'm not even there and I have to say "Hello!", before she acknoledges me. I know I have to do something to get her out of this mood, she'll make the weekend miserable if I don't. So I hold her, I kiss her neck, tell her I love her. She's resistant and will bearly even look at me. I unstrap her bra. She puts it back on, tells me that she's "not in the mood". She was in the mood when she got home from work this morning, but not now. That instead of jerking off in the shower, I should have been with her. This is news to me, since when she got home from work this morning, she didn't say or act in any way that she wanted sex. She came home, climbed in bed and I gave her a kiss goodnight and then I went about getting everything ready for the day. And I just took an ordinary run of the mill shower. Well, she continues to fight me, I force off her shoes, she tells me "I'm just like (the name of the guy who raped her)". Yeah, I don't think so. He wouldn't deal with this kind of shit, being mistreated, ignored for three days. I kiss her neck more. I hate doing this. I don't want to do this, but if I don't it's only going to get worse. I strip off her pants, she tells me "It's not going to happen". Well, I have to try, after about 10 minutes, she says "You bastard" and orgasms. Now, all is well with the world again. She becons me to finish. She takes a shower and tells me to order a pizza. I do. Some minor stuff happens after, I got the wrong kind of pizza, I should know she doesn't like that kind, I should have ordered breaded califlower instead of mushrooms. Well, I was told to order a pizza, I did. She wanted fries, I wanted mushrooms. So that's what I ordered. But it's a mostly uneventful evening. There was one other thing that stood out in my memory, a conversation where she tells me how much harder she works than I do. She has to stand for eight hours and walk alot, I get to drive a desk. Never mind that when I leave at 3:30 in the morning, I don't get home until 5:00 in the evening, or that I spend a solid two to three hours moving boxes non stop. I try to tune her out and watch TV. Finally, it's time for her to go to work.
That's when I decide fuck her. I'm jerking off, cause if I'm going to pay for it, I may as well enjoy it.

Against my better judgement, I went to work a double shift tonight, I haven't slept since I got up 24 hours ago. I still have another three hours minimum ahead of me. During my break, I went to get coffee for both of us. I bring it back to her, she goes back to work, since her breaks don't coincide with mine. I'm sitting outside at a picnic table and a woman who works there says "you're in early". Well, this is within earshot of April, who no doubt has been watching me with one eye while doing her work with the other. I decide I'm bored, I can't spend time with her, so I may as well go back to work and hang out there. At least I don't feel like I'm being watched like a prisoner.