I'm finally gettting to paperwork on this damn thing.

I call my insurance company, I'm afraid to ask how much my premiums will increase, I just want out. I sign like a mad man. I want so desperately to call April and say "Turn that piece of shit around we're out of here!"

But I don't.

After it's all said and done. I go home. We're leaving for vacation in two days. 

I checked to see what Kristin Blue Book had to say about my "new" car. It's worth 30% less than what we paid for it. God damn I hope the "buyers remorse" stuff is true.

I show April. She still thinks we got a great deal. Fuck!

I snuck out and poured some oil under the engine of the car on the driveway.

We go out to the grocery store. Come back, puddle of oil. She's not too concerned. "We'll have them check it out when we get back from vacation." Damn it, damn it, damn it. I want out, I made a huge mistake. We're so fucked. We're really hurting money wise I want the old car back. Why couldn't I tell her no? Fuck me, fuck me!

We are so broke.

That stupid van is killing us financially. I must have bounced four checks this month, that's really hurting us too.

So it's time to get a job. I hit up the temp agencies because they're usually good for finding something that I need, and they cover a wide enough area that hopefully they can find something between my full time job and home, either before or after. At least $8 an hour, full time is ok, part time would be better. Just till I pay off that damn thing.

I've gone to three different temp agencies, done stupid assed tests at one after completing the application and everthing else, they didn't find anything.

So I give it a shot at a local place who pays up to $11.50 to start working on their shipping docks.

I got a call back for an interview.

I have a very good feeling about this interview dispite the fact that it was only 10 minutes long. 

I'm way too eager for this part time job. I've got to start at 4:30 in the morning. It's 2:30, I'm wide awake watching TV.

We really need the money. Since April won't get a part time job, I've got to do it.

Here I go. I take my coffee, I wear my normal office clothes since I'm not supposed to be on the dock for a week. I get there and stand around for 20 minutes.

Oh great, a woman is training, can't let April find out, she'll think I'm screwing her.

Oh well, it's a week, and she's training, so I won't have to say I'm reporting to a woman.

Seems like easy enough work, unload trucks. 

I was talking to April on the phone today, since I started at the loading docks, she's been asking me when I've been getting finished, every day. I tell her, I figure mostly it's curiousity. Well today, she told me she's been keeping track of my hours to make sure that I'm not lying to her or screwing around on her behind her back.

Shit, who the hell gets up at 3:00 a.m. to go screw around? I'm not telling her any more. I'm not feeding this obsession. I'm not screwing around, that's that.

Found out the stupid car dealer that we bought that piece of shit Ford from has been holding $1600 of my money that should have been paid back to the loan company in August.

Since we're trying to find something to get into and get us out of that damn van, we're going to get a check for the money.

April and I discussed this, we're going to pay the $475 I owe the district justice so that I don't get a warrant out for my arrest and I can start getting credit for serving my suspended license. I'll be glad to have that monkey off my back.

Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it.

She picked up the check, cashed it and bought a car. What the fuck to do we need another car for? We have mine, we have the van, what do we need that one for? And she's making payments on the damn thing.

Great, just fucking great.

Well so much for paying off that fine. Stupid woman, I'm leaving next chance I get. 

We went to see Josh Gracin in concert today at this little venue in my hometown. He's awesome in concert.

When we get home, April's out of sorts, she claims I didn't pay enough attention to her. I didn't pay $20 to see her, I can do that for free. Ok, that's a little mean. But that's my point, we paid and went to this concert to see Josh Gracin, I think most people can understand why I'd be paying attention to him, not to her.

The fighting continued, some how we ended up outside. She threw her two diamond rings in the yard. I called her a stupid bitch. Those things was too expensive to lose.

She attacked me, like she lunged at me, knocked me down and punched me a few times.

Then she went back in the house. I got a shop light and started looking for the rings.

I found both of them. I gave her the $150 one back, but I'm not giving her the expensive one until things settle down.